Reality Bites- Things I Don't Like

Doing chores, loud snores, unjust wars, cold sores, expensive stores, talks of Gore's, dropped s'mores, huge pores, and rocky shores;

getting scabies or rabies or ridiculously large food babies;

seatbelts, when icecream melts;

men in Speedos, all mosquitos;

gas-inducing burritos, fingers covered in Doritos or Cheetos;

cockroaches, tacky broaches;

stuck behind a semi-truck, hit in the head when I should duck;

trying to talk while crying, planes bouncing around while flying;

discovering lice, trying to make rice or just be nice to has-beens like Bo Bice;

shopping at Sears, the smell of beers, struggling with fears, and unfriendly jeers that bring me to tears;

burning food, acts that are lewd;

a rock in my shoe, stepping in poo, I pity the foo who can't go do do.

Swarming bees, losing keys, stupid fees, stinky cheese, and a mean brain freeze;

road rage, growing age;

a sore throat, a torn coat, Murder She Wrote, a lost remote, and getting sick on a boat;

mini-vans, failed plans;

unexpected cat scratches, burning my finger on matches;

feeling stressed or depressed or possessed or overdressed;

getting flipped the bird, or hit by a turd, being called nerd, or just plain absurd;

fluffy bangs, frightening gangs;

a song that's too long, being called wrong or a ding dong;

the high cost of rent, waking cold in a tent;

stepping on snails, insensitive males;

waking up sore, a brown apple core;

stubbing my toe, being told "no",

ponytails with bumps, faulty gas pumps, cancerous lumps, the term "my humps", hair of Donald Trump's, jiggly rumps, and scary old grumps;

numbers that are restricted, kind people getting evicted;

belly flops, hidden cops, blue tootsie pops, old pork chops, designer shops, and tie-dyed tops;

apples that are mushy, seats that aren't cushy, brothers slapping my tushy;

telling unfunny jokes, trying butterfly strokes, meeting unkind blokes or selfish folks, when anyone chokes or an old pet croaks;

kids rolling their eyes, those with DUIs;

being denied or rudely called wide;

cereal that's healthy, guilt for being wealthy;

an unsightly mole, a road with a toll, balls that won't go in the hole, and games with no goal;

invading ants, incompetent rants, running on slants, hearing "no's" "can'ts" and "shant's",

kitty litter, being bitter, pointless twitter and a mean babysitter;

feeling nauseous, driving too cautious, ruining shirts with too many washes;

painful foot blisters, terrifying twisters;

traffic jams, internet scams;

shampoo in my eyes, pointy ends of fries, mean rumors and lies;

the sound of the vacuum cleaner, the words moist, milky and wiener;

acne scars, crashing cars;

kicked in the shin, struggling with sin, losing when you should win, long hairs on my chin and not hitting one pin;

radio ads, diaper-size pads;

milk that's gone rotten, feeling forgotten;

parking tickets, maddening crickets;

stepping in tar, the crayon smell in my car;

tall, mean horses, tough race courses;

pitting out, lost in route, people who pout or tend to shout;

hiccups that are painful, strangers that are disdainful;

calves getting slapped, lips that are chapped;

chaperoning dances, missing great chances;

birds flying close, the smell of burnt toast;

flying bugs, lost Uggs, cracked mugs, ugly pugs, frightening thugs, car side hugs;

horror flicks, getting ticks, shaving nics, shooting bricks, New York Knicks, a dog that licks, cold fishsticks, and Michael Vicks;

reading maps, waking from naps;

a broken shopping cart, thinking it's a fart when it's truly a shart;

earthquakes, Christian fakes, slamming on brakes, going to wakes;

movies that are scary like that bloody scene in Carrie;

hair snarls, food from Carl's;

awkward blind dates, high airline rates;

hair in my food, people who are rude, or nude, or crude, or have attitude;

smoggy days, airballed treys, LA haze, no pay raise;

honky tonk songs, realizing my wrongs, wearing cheap thongs;

cottage cheese, warts on my knees, dogs with fleas;

cold fingers and toes, caught picking my nose;

dirty looks, Christy Miller books;

pencils that are dull, convos with an awkward lull, pushing a door when it says pull, and eating past the point of full.

Vicious baboons, scavenging raccoons, irksome jazz tunes, and eating gross prunes;

mouth full of soap, burns from a rope, having no hope, worship of the Pope, hearing the word grope, being called a dope, spelling the word taupe, and licking an envelope.

Charlie horses, evil forces;

fixing a flat tire, lint from the dryer;

unnecessary brakers, vexing soccer fakers;

jamming my thumb, when my tongue goes numb, or I'm followed by a bum or have to eat ABC gum and say something dumb.

Water up the nose, the Passion scene with crows, getting kinks in the hose and shrinking new clothes;

sports ending in a tie, getting caught in a lie;

Know-it-alls, refs' poor calls, getting hit with balls, frightening dolls, embarrassing falls, getting blocked calls, the taste of Halls, overwhelming malls, guilt like Saul's, and running into walls.

A bounced check or kink in the neck;

getting shots, my hair in knots;

finding blood clots, breaking down in Watts;

pumping gas, stepping in glass;

odor from a skunk, student being a punk;

when people eat off my plate, the feeling when I'm about to be late;

bullies at school, acting "too cool", trying to soften stool, a dog's nasty drool, debating a fool or an idiot tool who'll pee in your pool.

At the doctor's getting weighed, hot days without shade, the sick scent of Raid, shaving with a dull razor blade;

the smell of Ben-Gay, an awful toupee, discovering my zipper's been down the whole day;

hypocrits, smelly pits, giant zits, and called a ditz;

reprimands, my man hands;

shoes that hurt my feet, slow walkers crossing the street;

side hugs in cars, melted candy bars;

burning a meal, the face of Seal;

being tailgated or feeling sedated or getting berated;

an SBD, stung by a bee;

small bladders, unstable ladders;

realizing you're fatter, wasted cake batter;

itchy bug bites, loud cat fights, long sleepless nights, falling from heights, short yellow lights,...gosh, reality bites.