Christmas Card Schmorgasboard

Our fridge is currently covered in Christmas cards. It's a schmorgasboard of smiling faces; of friends and family with arms around spouses, standing in front of new houses, or holding laughing babies. It's a schmorgasboard of joy. And it makes me smile.

On my weak days though, on my "Katie deserves a pity party" days, it makes me sad. When I close my eyes and ears to the blessings enveloping me, when I fall prey to the enemy's schemes, and when I forget about the wonderful and unique adventure God has me on, it makes me sad. Because yes, there's no denying it, I would love to be married. I would love to be on a Christmas card standing beside a man who looks very much in love (who is taller than me, adventurous, goofy, and can beat me in basketball- even if everyone says I need to lower that standard) and maybe I'd even be holding a bundle of joy in my arms. And a dog. We'd definitely have a dog. That Christmas card seems implausible at times but that's where hope and faith come in. I am sitting, no living, no dancing in hopeful expectation for that Christmas card and I am confident that I will be in it one day. But for now, for today, my journey looks very different; my "Christmas card picture" looks very different.

One of the perks of being single is that I don't actually have to send out Christmas cards. I'm not sure exactly why this unwritten rule is in place, but it is. My guess is that it will always be in place because single men would NEVER or could never send out their own cards and single women will always feel self-conscious announcing to fridges across the nation that they are still single. My friend Lesley wrote a very funny post about the stress involved with sending out Christmas cards and it made me thankful I don't have to do this...yet. However, I did seriously consider sending one out. I was going to have my sister take a professional picture of me holding Dotty. I would be wearing a Harry Potter sweatshirt. Only my close friends and some family would know for sure that it was a joke and everyone who visited their homes would probably wonder who the pathetic single gal with the cat was. I ran out of time since it is busy basketball season but I wish I had- I feel like it would send the message that, "Yes, I am still single but my life is still wonderful. It's just different."

Compared to almost all of my friends, I am in a very different stage of life; on a very different journey but I love it. Seriously, love it. I couldn't always say that but I can today. I am thrilled for my friends and family and the lives they are leading but I wouldn't exchange my journey for any of theirs. I love how God's plans are so unique for each of us and I love the one He has for me- even if it does look drastically different from all my friends'- possibly BECAUSE it is so drastically different.

Because I am not yet married, I get to have an intimacy with my Savior that I don't think I would have if my heart was divided. My whole heart belongs to just Him right now.

Because I am not yet married, I get to pour myself into my nephews. I get to have continual "epic battles", play hours and hours of hide n seek, and snuggle up to watch "tooners" all the time because most of my free time is spent with these precious, hilarious, glorious little boys.

Because I am not yet married, I get to pour myself into my students. I get to plan white elephant Christmas parties for my freshmen Bible study girls and teach them how to pray and treat others and seek God with their whole hearts.

Because I am not yet married, I get to be mom to 11 beautiful high school girls. We had a Christmas/slumber party at my house the other night and I may have had just as much fun as they did. If I didn't send out the cat Christmas card, I might've sent one like this:

because these are the people I take care of. These are the people that I see the most right now. And I love these people. I love that I am in charge of them and can tell them when they are slandering others and need to stop. I love buying gifts for them and preparing food for them and praying with them and for them, showing them that they are special, and showing them how to have fun at a slumber party. They're all friends and high schoolers so I know they can have fun without all my activities but I am a slumber party expert so yes, I forced them to have fun "my way." So I forced them to decorate cookies:

and I forced them to play games instead of sitting around talking about classmates. And it was hilarious because they discovered that Kari thought "Snookie" was just a term of endearment and described Tina Turner as "that really funny black girl in 'Miss Congeniality.'"

And maybe this wasn't my wisest decision as the "chaperon" but I made them play a game in Target too. I had forgotten a few things I needed to buy there so we made it an adventure and they had to pick out an outfit for one other person. Our goal was to just not get kicked out of Target.

They failed.

But sometimes getting yelled at by Target security makes for a great memory. (I know, not my finest moment as a "responsible chaperon.")

No slumber party is complete without a t-peeing adventure and my girls made me proud. They were shockingly silent and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to shedding a tear watching them work together as I sat in the get-away car.

I would not know what to do if I had a baby right now. I would not know how to be a mom to him/her. But I am comfortable being a mom to a 16 year old girl. In fact, I felt very much like my own mom when I turned out the lights and gave them 15 minutes to chat and then woke them up in the morning singing, "Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory!"

My life is full. My God is good.

So though I still am waiting for that Christmas card with the hubby and the baby and the dog, for now I will take my girls toilet-papering and tickle my nephews and not worry about sending out Christmas cards.