Our Brothers' Wives

I grew up going to public school and yet somehow I didn't realize that I had been terribly sheltered from the world until I reached the seventh grade. We weren't permitted to listen to most radio stations or watch MTV so my knowledge of music mostly centered around Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith. I thought I was listening to "rap" music when I heard the fast part of Rich Mullin's "Awesome God."I still remember wandering the aisles at Blockbuster searching for those so-called "music videos" I had heard people talking about. Today, when people talk about the "New Kids on the Block" (which happens more often than you'd think), I always have to hang my head in shame and admit that they were before my time.

This lack of knowledge presented a bit of a problem when my homework assignment for drama class was to lip sinc to any song of our choosing. I loved Amy Grant but I knew she wasn't cool. Since my older, cooler sister was allowed to listen to KIIS FM even though the DJ was called "the nasty man", I asked her for help. This is the story of when I learned that my cool, older sister was just as sheltered and dorky as I.

She thought she was helping me. She thought she was giving me a cool song. She gave me "You're the Inspiration" by Chicago. Yeah. She did.

What's worse is the fact that I had to choreograph motions to the song and then perform them for a grade in front of 50 of my classmates. If I had been cooler, I would've cared less about my grade and not stressed about the assignment. But a B on any assignment was unacceptable so I threw myself into creating the perfect motions and gestures. I would dance in my underwear on stage if I had to in order to get an A. Don't worry, I did NOT dance in my underwear.

I wish the day of that performance wasn't still so engrained in my memory. I remember about half the class chose songs by Green Day. I had never heard of this "Basket Case" but was certain it was just as popular as "You're the Inspiration."

I wanted to dress special for the occasion and wear the perfect shirt. I debated between my go-to "Big Dogs" t-shirt or my large, purple "Messiah" shirt but finally opted to borrow one of Heidi's since she was teaching me all about cool. So with confidence and Heidi's oversized, green flannel, I strutted across the stage and lip sang my heart out. Everyone else did a few self-conscious hand motions. I used the whole stage. I knew what it would take to get an A and by golly, I got my A. I didn't get the applause I had been expecting, though. And I later learned that no one had ever heard of Chicago. Turns out they had been popular in the early 80's but it was the mid-90's now and only the teacher had ever heard of the song, "You're the Inspiration."

Heidi dedicated that song to me at her wedding. Everyone thought it was a sweet, meaningful dedication and were probably confused as to why I was blushing and laughing and shaking my head at her.

Along with our sheltered upbringing, dorkiness, and appreciation for Steven Curtis Chapman, my sister and I also share a tendency to worry about our younger brothers. Somehow they weren't nearly as sheltered or naivee or dorky as Heidi and I. I still remember tattling on Travis when I heard him say the "F" word. I cried in my room listening to him get his mouth washed with soap. Then in high school, Heidi showed me a clove she had found in Trent's car. I cried about that too. Did we ever tell you about that, Trent? It was traumatizing.

Heidi and I were rule-followers but our brothers were not. So we spent a lot of time on our knees praying for Trent and Trav. They are two years younger than I am so when I was in college, my most fervent prayers were for them and the friends they would make in college. When they moved into the dorms their freshman year, my parents were on a cruise for their 30th wedding anniversary so Heidi, her husband and myself moved them in. We bought them all the supplies we thought they'd need to make friends and even tried to make a friend for Travis when we met a very nice boy in the cafeteria. (It didn't work out)

Then we met their roommates we had been praying for for so long and wondered if they were answers to our prayers. They were. We knew they would need to be surrounded by men of integrity, men who were funny and athletic but would seek after Christ. Their roommates turned out to be just such men who became life long friends.

A few years later, Heidi and I started praying for their future wives. These prayers were a bit more selfishly motivated since the wives they chose would become our sisters- so they had to be fun. We prayed for women who would be easy-going and goofy and love the Lord. We got just that. Travis married Emma three years ago and blessed Heidi and I with our first amazing sister-in-law.

Trav and Emma live at my parents' right now and last week I realized just how much Emma has been grafted into the family. I spent 8 hours in the living room with her, my dad, and my grandpa watching basketball games. I think we all took naps at some point and when I woke up, Emma was in the kitchen blending nasty vegetable drinks with my mom. Then a few days later, I returned to watch some more games (we don't have cable) and was confused when I walked in and the furniture was moved. Emma and my mom were hiding behind the wall and jumped out to scare me making me literally fall to the floor. They were doing a dance exercise video together and made me join them. (for the record, very few people will EVER see me do a dance exercise video. Sadly, I think even my mom has more rhythm than I do.) Emma is a better belcher than I (if you can believe it) and as we 'cut a rug' in the living room, she let them loose and I realized yet again that she truly has become part of the family.

Then last weekend Heidi, Emma and I threw a bridal shower for our soon-to-be sister-in-law, Teri. Since Trent had been living at my parents' until recently, we got to know Teri quite well as they dated. She was at our the infamous Easter Egg Hunt two years ago. I think she and Trent had just started dating but she clearly looks like she belongs in this sisters picture.

They continued to date and we started to hope, "Could this be it? Could she be the one?" She passed the test when we asked her to do the mud run with us

but I think she won me over when she proved she could and would cross her eyes with me

and wouldn't make a "cute" goofy face as so many girls do.

I have been a bridesmaid a number of times and have thrown quite a few showers but this was probably my favorite because it was thrown for my sister by us sisters. Heid and Emma are amazing at everything I suck at. They are crafty and creative and put so much thought and effort into planning everything that I honestly got a little annoyed. "Seriously, we're going to talk shower stuff AGAIN." But they planned everything down to the tiniest detail (they even found cute straws for goodness sake! I didn't know such a thing existed) that made this the best shower I've ever been a part of planning. I can brag about it because I really didn't have much to do with the planning at all. They'd ask my opinions for a while but when I just kept saying, "That sounds great" to everything, they stopped asking. Heidi posted pictures from the day here if you're interested.

On Heidi's blog she mentions that I cried when we were praying for Teri. Big surprise, I know. But it did surprise me because I wasn't the teensiest bit emotional until I closed my eyes. Before I could open my mouth the prayers from the past 10 years came flooding back to my memory and I realized this was the biggest answer to them all. God had provided.

I don't know why it continues to surprise me every time, but it does. I had worried so much about my brothers all those years as they wobbled on and off the straight and narrow. I had prayed so hard and shed so many tears for them and here He was again, reminding me of His faithfulness. He had provided Travis with the perfect woman for him. Truly, no one but Emma would be more perfect for Trav.

And now He was providing for Trent. I remembered that dreadful clove Heidi had found in his car all those years ago. And I remembered him coming to stay with me at Westmont when he was suspended from school. And I realized God was doing it again. He had provided Trent with Joe and Dave to get him through college; He had provided Jude as a brother in Christ on the police force with him; and now He was providing Teri. Trent can be a little bit...how you say, "difficult." We knew it was going to take someone special to put up with him, to encourage and uplift and comfort him. It would take a woman of strength who would not bend to his "pushiness" but also understanding- who would get his "tone of voice" that caused so many fights between the two of us while backpacking in Europe. Teri is both those things and more; she is fun and quirky and kind and competitive and is so obviously a perfect match for Trent. Though I confess I wasn't so sure when I first met her and she had a face piercing. Kidding Teri- I liked it:) Mom on the other hand...

I shake my head at myself for worrying so much about my brothers all those years. Yes, I should have been praying. But not worrying. Because God knew EXACTLY what my brothers needed; He knew exactly WHO they needed. And He provided.

This provision is what choked me up when I tried to pray. I was overwhelmed by a sense of His faithfulness. At the same time, I was painfully aware that I was supposed to open in prayer and my pause was getting awkwardly long. Ever aware of the awkwardness I create, I started my prayer before I had shoved down all that emotion welling up inside. I laughed at myself because I know I'm ridiculous with my tears but these were the best kind of tears. Mine was a prayer of thanks. I had my hand on Teri's hairy knee and knew I was touching a tangible answer to prayer. I kept it short because when I keep talking and crying at the same time I sound like I'm on helium, but I continued to feel the Spirit's peace as our family and Teri's friends thanked our great God and petitioned for His blessing on Trent and Teri's marriage.

This shower reminded me that we serve a great and mighty God who richly provides precisely what we need, precisely when we need it.