don't panic. If you are wearing a scarf, the problem can be quickly solved.
A story in pictures about
1) how to hide a pee stain
2) how to wear a scarf
3) how to take solo poses
4) and why you should never eat fruit.
Today I rolled out of bed at 7:10 and showed up to the staff meeting at 7:30 dressed like this:
Things were going smoothly until break. Without time for my usual 3 eggo waffles, I was famished by 10 o'clock and ready to eat my hand. Maybe both of them. Luckily, I've claimed an entire drawer in the staff fridge and filled it with snacks.
When Katie is hungry, nobody is happy.
I opted for grapes.
So I rinsed them off and put them on a plate and felt very adult because (a) I had shown up on time to the weekly meeting and (b) I was eating fruit.
However, the mishap came when I went to toss the plate in the trash. Apparently my grapes had been sitting in a giant pool of water which, of course, ended up here:
I did what any normal person would do.
I laughed.
Then I ripped off my scarf to try to absorb the spill.
It didn't work.
So I looked to my colleagues for help.
This is why I love teaching at Valley.
They gave me some fabulous suggestions for how to wear my scarf to hide the fact that it looked as if I had wet myself.
One option was to wear my scarf as a skirt:
But the wet spot was still visible.
Someone else suggested wearing the scarf around my neck:
Clearly, this was not effective in the least bit...
unless I were to walk around like this:
which we decided would be a bit too conspicuous and awkward for everyone.
Our trend-setting Bible teacher offered this brilliant suggestion:
which I was seriously considering until I looked down and realized my pants had dried.
THE END.
The best part of this post is the fact that you recreated the whole scene! I think you even got the facial expressions right.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Did someone take these photos or did you do them on the timer???
Okay looking at this exact reenactment, I am realizing how biblical that last picture really is - it really looks like you simply have some sort of Jewish prayer cloth hanging down. Now just pray through the tassels and you have taken a difficult situation and turned it into a blessing. Wow, I need to meet that Bible teacher!!
ReplyDeleteErica- I used the timer. I'm not sure which would have been more pathetic- timer or asking someone to take these pictures. Only Dotty witnessed this photo shoot. It reminded me of the time three years ago when Jen walked in on me using the timer and making hideous faces for the camera.
ReplyDeleteSheri- I thought the same thing! All I needed was my tefillin and my outfit would be complete. Don't be fooled; I for sure didn't know the name "tefillin." I had to google "Jewish prayer box on head."
You are a nut!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughter.